Not one to sit idly by!
I truly am not one who can sit and be idle for very long. It is a good thing, but finding constructive and helpful things to occupy my time with can be a challenge sometimes. I have a day full of active work keeping up with the house and with the kids. Quiet moments are rare, and often when I have them I am here writing a blog and doing something to keep my hands busy. I guess I have always been this way. I was the kid in class who constantly tapped a pencil or strummed her fingers across the desk.
When I am stressed I find that my need for activity greatly increases. When I am stressed about something I often work it out in my head while I am busy. I have been known to scrub my floors at midnight. It benefits me more than lying in bed. I just can’t think things through as much when I am not physically involved with a task. With age I have found ways to use this to my benefit.
With Bryan gone and Mike deployed it only stands to reason that my stress is greatly increased, and my need for constructive busyness has also increased. I have seized the opportunity that all of this change has before me, and I have made a few routine changes that are beneficial — like going to the YMCA everyday and working out and visiting with people. I have also started a new project refinishing a very old buffet that was given to me by a dear friend. I am finding my time working on the buffet to be very therapeutic!
My friend had a very old and beat up buffet. I thought it was beautiful, but just needed a complete overhaul. My friend, Jill, did too, but she eventually grew tired of storing it and offered it to me one day. It looked like it had survived a few tragedies, and for whatever reason a previous owner had glued linoleum tiles to the top! Yes, blue and white linoleum tiles. Very strange. So, I started on this therapeutic journey by slowly ripping up the very top layer of the linoleum, so that I could get some solvent to the glued portion under. It was a mess, and on Monday everyone here (Nate, Pappy, Granny and myself) was taking turns going outside and spraying it down and scraping it off. I finally got the last of the glue off today. It feels so good!
I think one of the reasons behind my needing a tangible, workable, project to work on when I am stressed is because it actually causes me to focus on what I am doing. My brain is more quiet, my body is expending it’s nervous energy, and I can pray and think. I also find that I tend to look at my concerns through a metaphorical lens. I have always been a synthetic thinker. Working on this buffet actually helps me to remember that sometimes I feel like I have survived a few tragedies, and I have many layers of old ugliness that are still being stripped away. I am much more blessed than my buffet is though. I am an amateur and it is at my mercy. My God who is sanctifying me is the Master, and He will do what is beneficial, necessary and for my good. He will not leave me unfinished, and he will finish me in His time, His way and to His specifications. With that reassurance in mind I can eventually put down my tools, appreciate the work I was blessed to do, and rest a little.
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