Knee Deep in the Hooah!

A little over a week ago I was driving back from dropping Nate off to school. Emma was in the back listening to her happy kid’s music, and I was deep in reverie. Driving is a great medium for me to think. I am very mindful of the road, but the fact that it is fairly quiet, and my toddler is strapped safely into a car seat, allows me time to actually process my thoughts a little more deeply and for a little more time than is usually afforded me.

I was caught up in this sort of reverie and thinking about how my next anticipated conversation with Mr. Hooah! may go. I knew that he was beginning to feel discouraged, and I knew that I needed to do my best to build him up from a distance, and through the medium of a cell phone line. It was not going to be an easy task. He has done a great job jumping back to action, or as much action as the doctor will allow. As soon as he was released from the hospital he was walking from HHC to the DFAC and waited in line like everyone else. He only went to the front one day when a worker insisted on it. He didn’t want to upset this person who was apparently very distressed that he was standing there and not sitting. I like to hear that people are watching out for him, personally, but he wants to stand in line with his comrades. I understand that too. His discouragement was not beyond my ability, but when I was thinking things through I just didn’t know what to say to him.

I didn’t have any answers. I couldn’t encourage him about his second chance because I can’t reassure him that it will definitely be there. The last thing a discouraged heart needs to hear are empty promises and songs of false hope. He’s a smart man, and I am an honest woman. So, here we have a quandary. The truth of the matter is, the truth itself is not that encouraging at this moment. At least it is not to someone who has suffered quite a bit of physical trauma. The break was pretty traumatizing, and the surgery was even more so. Even though surgery is necessary to heal, and heal well, it is still very traumatic to the body. What affects the body, affects the mind and so on. So, at this time he was in a post-surgical slump, and he was and still is facing a lot of unknowns.

So, what could I say to him? How could I communicate and convey the message to him that hope is not lost, and that even though I have no proof that a second chance is even possible, I think he will get one? I don’t know what that second chance will look like, but I believe it is there. It was about this time in my thoughts that verbal words came out of my mouth as I relived what one of his Captains said during his leadership training course, “That was one hell of a recovery!” Right then and there I knew that I was going to remind him of the other times he struggled to get through a point in his training, but he used his mind, his resources and his strength and all of that combined got him to where he needed to be. He has faced his challenges with bravery.

It does not take bravery to face the wind when you own your course, and you are owning it everyday. It does not take bravery to face challenges when you are strong, encouraged and moving forward in the manner in which you have planned. It takes moxy, fortitude and dedication, but not bravery. Every courageous act begins with a spark of bravery. Courage is seen on the face whereas bravery is felt in the heart. Bravery is the initial spark that leads to the courage that others will witness. What better circumstances to have your shot at bravery and courage than a situation that feels nearly hopeless?

You can not display bravery when you are certain. There is nothing grand about stepping your foot out onto a solid and sure surface. We all do it everyday. Walking out on a ledge for the right reasons, and to defy your innermost self that is screaming for you to stay on the safe end of the beam is bravery! To defy that human urge to cling to safety and security when you realize that the risk is large but the payoff is ethereal, is bravery.

I do not know what the second chance will be for Mr. Hooah! I do not know if some miracle will happen and he will be able to finish where he left off. We get varying and wildly mixed answers to this. We don’t know if they are going to try and recycle him and send him back to day one. We don’t know if they are going to tell him to pick an MOS and go through an AIT — which will basically eliminate the possibility for him ever coming back to OCS due to time constrictions and his age. He will not be a medical discharge because he is expected to heal well. That is the only thing we do know.

When we chose this path we did so with our whole heart. We sold our home, we have sunk a lot of money into this path, and we are not turning back. Our past is neatly folded behind us, and our plans for the future have been greatly paused and possibly altered by a broken leg. We have no answers. We have no assurance. What we have is our Faith, one another, our family, some courage and bravery to display.

We also have a shot at one hell of a recovery!

Tags: Posts by Claire //