Knee Deep in the Hooah!

Dear Mike,

I think about you everyday, but some days I think about you in the present and others more so in the past. Today I was thinking about you in a way that paralleled both worlds where my thoughts and memories of you are treasured and contained. I really do have so many tender memories of when you were little. You were such a bright and curious guy, well you still are, but just in different ways now. The memories of you bring a lot of joy to me, and they remind me of how much I miss seeing you and hearing your voice in person.

I guess what sparked this thinking was a conversation I have been reading going on between people about whether or not you can support the troops without supporting their mission. There has been a lot of good points raised by many people, and I have to say that I tried to think of how I could support you in a tangible and legitimate way if I did not support anything you were sacrificing your days as a young man for. I came up blank, son. I just can’t think of how that is possible. I can’t find the logic in it for the life of me. I guess I have never been on the side of anyone who would do something that I could not support.

You know when you were very little you used to love to color with your crayons. I can not think of one time when you sat down to color (even when all you were able to do was scribble) and I would say to you “I support you, but your coloring is horrible and I can’t support it!” I loved you and what you were doing. I can’t fathom ever coming to one of your concerts for show chorus when you were in middle school and saying “I support you, but your singing is something I can’t support.” I guess then, like now, I simply can not separate what you are doing with who you are. I raised you to be a man with awareness, and so I simply can not find a way to extract the essence of “you” from what “you” do. I know you understand that, but I guess I am trying to figure out this line of reasoning.

I remember when you started running Cross Country. Oh, wow! I was (and still am) very proud of you for the way you tackled that! You put your whole body and soul into it. I remember your coach always telling me “He’s a big guy and shouldn’t be able to run the way he runs — he’s got a heart for it!” You were built more like a football player than a long distance runner, but by gosh you showed them that you could be a runner if you put your mind to it! How could I have ever said to you then “Mike, I support you, but your running just has to stop because I can’t support it!” If I could not support what you were doing with your whole mind and body, then how could I support you?

I know the truth son. I remember. I know that you are not someone who does the hard things in life half-heartedly. You embrace it fully, pursue passionately, and you do it to the best of your ability. So, with that said I want you to know that today, as always and forever, I support you, and I support your mission. I support what you are doing every day in Iraq, and what you are sacrificing. I wish you could be home with us every day that you are gone, but I understand. I also know that this race is one that has and will continue to put you to the test. I have no doubt that you will pass just fine, and cross that finish line when you are redeployed home to your family who loves you and who are waiting for you.

With much love,

Mom

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