Knee Deep in the Hooah!

I saw a couple of friends at the gym this morning. They both reluctantly asked me if I was all ready for the upcoming Holiday. I guess it’s more obvious than I had realized. No. Actually I am not in the mood for Christmas this year. I do not feel holly, jolly, or merry. I am going through the motions. I feel like I am forcing Christmas to come… it could be February 10th for all my emotions know right now.

The tree is up. The lights are on. The kids will get happy parents who give them some nice gifts. I am hosting our annual cookie exchange tomorrow night. I will have a good time, no doubt about that. All will seem normal on the outside, but I simply can not throw my heart into recklessly embraced joy when I know what my son is living through. Could someone tell Al Qaeda that we would appreciate it if our troops could have an extra day off this year? No? I didn’t think so. So, my heart is there with him. My body, mind and cares are here, but my heart is with Mike. I sent his gifts and yummy box off early. I pray he gets them. I pray that when he opens his boxes he can smell home, taste home and remember how much we love him.

If you want to see me truly knee deep in the joy of the season, please check in next year at this time. I have faith that next year I will be trimming the tree with my soldier home. Until then I reserve the right to only embrace the spirit of the season in as much as I can truly handle without feeling disingenuous.