Knee Deep in the Hooah!

… otherwise titled, “Illegitimis non carborundum.”

…. or “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.”  — General George J. Stilwell

It has been my experience that all of the “best” soldiers I have ever met have also been strong men of God, full of vim and vigor for our Lord. While the worst soldiers have been haters of God. The worst ones do not take instruction well. They hate the authority over them. And doesn’t the Bible say, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction?” Of course the majority of soldiers occupy that grey area in between “best” and “worst.”For example … the honor graduate from my former OCS class was an incredibly dedicated and studious Christian. The member of my class that was kicked out for drunk driving among other things … a bold heathen. Most everyone else fell in between. Ninety eight percent of them graduated. Honor code violations were actually pretty rare.

The Honor code is one of many creeds and definitions that are required knowledge while in OCS. One such is General George Marshall’s character of leadership definition, and I quote, ” You have to lead men in war by bringing them along to endure and display qualities of fortitude that are beyond the average man’s thought of what he should be expected to do. You have to inspire them when they are hungry and exhausted and desperately uncomfortable and in great danger. Only a man of positive characteristics of leadership with the physical stamina that goes with it can function under those conditions.”

Out of this quote the words “physical stamina” seem to have preeminence over and above anything else. It is a sad reality in the Army that a physically gifted man can excel beyond his peers no matter how rotten he might be. He may be late for formations, do a poor job all day long, and mistreat his soldiers but if he scores off the scale on APFT and fights like a rabid bear, the Army will over look everything else. I’ve seen this in both the enlisted and officers. Fortunately, these men also “tear down their house with their own hands.” We just have to tolerate them until their own actions take them away. Those of us who are ever in a position to be the instrument of their removal are glad to do so.

On the flip side, those men who are physically gifted, fight like a rabid bear, and are Christian to boot end up being your best leaders and generals.

The Army as a body, however, has NO room for grace. The Army is a pragmatic and utilitarian body. To a degree this is the only way it can be. After all, the Army is there to kill the enemy and destroy their strong holds. Anything else is irrelevant to the mission.

I contemplated this and much more while in my hospital room at Ft. Benning. I was about to see a side of the Army that I do not like. The side of the Army that I do not like has more akin to the Nordic tradition of Valhalla than it does with Christianity. In the Nordic tradition warriors rise up in the morning, fight all day, the victors feast all night, and all the warriors are risen up again the next morning to start the cycle all over again. This is the heaven in store for great warriors. If a man doesn’t fall into this category then he goes to hell with everyone else. He is less than useless.

I looked out over the skyline on the morning after my operation and watched the sun come up just in time to see a group from the Airborne School do their morning jump. I knew that if any of those chutes folded my doctor would have a busy day ahead. I might also get a new room mate.

My doctors had brought me into the operating room, took out their power tools, and bolted me together lickety split. I was feeling pretty good. This was the day after the break and already I could bear some weight on the leg thanks to the metal plate now in place. The hospital and staff were just amazing. They were much better than anything I had experienced out in the civilian world. I know that’s not what you regularly hear about military health care, but its true. The Ft. Benning facilities are top notch. Heh, one of my doctors thought they were a little second rate compared to the Texas facility he had just come from. I thought, “If Ft. Benning is this good what must his hospital have been like?” Honestly, I hope I never find out.

I had to call my wife that first morning to tell her what had happened. I didn’t get a chance to call prior to surgery so I wasn’t sure what she did or did not know. When we spoke it didn’t take long at all for me to figure out that she was in worse shape than I was. I spent most of my time reassuring her that everything was OK. I did the same for my friends from 4th platoon when they came by to see me. Almost every single person in that platoon made at least one trip to the hospital to see me. The nurses stopped asking people who they were coming to visit. Instead they just pointed to my room whenever the elevator doors opened. A few of the nurses started calling me the “Mayor of Columbus.” They had never seen anyone with that many visitors before. Hey. What can I say. 4th platoon was just that close.

My wife wrote about my elusive finish line the day after my surgery. She too, had to process it all.

My Cadre First Sergeant came to see me at least once and called a couple more times after that (the officers never did).

He and I talked about my future with the Army. His thought was that I would be able to heal up then join in with another OCS class at the point where I left off. Sounded good to me. Didn’t happen.

When my doctors (a Captain and a Major) talked to me about my future they thought the Commandant of the school could just waive the physical requirements of OCS, let me finish the didactic portions, and use my last APFT as my final APFT in order to graduate me on time. Sounded really, really, good to me. Didn’t happen.

After I was released from the hospital and put into the OCS holding company (HHC) I was given two choices. First choice, take an enlisted job and try to get back to OCS later. At my age, the likelihood of getting back in under the age deadline (42-years old) for commissioning was near zero. Second choice, chapter out of the Army all together and maybe come back if I can rehab in under a year. Of course I have to start OCS all over again from the beginning. I tried to make a third choice. I wanted to stay in HHC, heal up, and rejoin a class albeit under some medical restriction. That was a huge NO GO. As it turns out, after seeing what OCS HHC is like, well, lets just say anyone who thinks he can use his time there to recover from an injury is an idiot. The place is not set up for that. Nor should it be.

So I took the doctor’s recommended convalescent leave and used that time to not only rest and visit my family, but also to make up my mind.

When I got back to HHC following that leave I had time to observe my new surroundings a little closer. The part of OCS HHC that inprocesses soldiers also bunks them there for a short time until their class starts up. Additionally it processes out the soldiers who do not graduate for one reason or another. It is run by two to three Sergeants, a First Sergeant, and a Captain. The student soldiers take up various CQ positions as needed in order to make the handling of varied numbers of processing soldiers flow easier. Sounds innocuous enough.

HHC is OCS purgatory. Every day there is Ground Hog Day. The Captain called it that when I first arrived but I didn’t understand until I spent a little time there. Advice to those processing into OCS: Try to time your schedule so that you spend as little time as possible at HHC.

I decided since I couldn’t get back into OCS from the enlisted side if I chose to stay in the Army and I couldn’t rehab at OCS HHC within the short frame of time regulation allowed them to keep me that I should leave the Army to rehab my leg. Good-bye purgatory.

I won’t get too much into why it is purgatory. I will lightly touch on it. There is really no meaningful work to be done there. The soldiers processing out are often trouble children that cause everyone around them pain. There was, when I was there, one sergeant (number two of the two strangest Sergeants I’ve ever had the displease of meeting while in the Army) who is by far and away the MOST unprofessional Sergeant I have ever met. Normally, I can find something positive about everyone I meet. I got nothing here. He was nicknamed Sergeant sh!t head. ‘Nuff said. If I go much further with my description of either Sergeant sh!t head or HHC I will be guilty of offering up friendly fire. Heaven forbid.

The HHC Captain was good. I used to do clandestine operations for the Captain such as swiping artificial sweetener from the DFAC. The First Sergeant was near my age and had a great sense of humor. I never met another First Sergeant who could come up with more silly songs based on “oldies” (that we both knew) than this guy. HHC had a Sergeant who seemed to do all the paper work for us. He too was hilarious. Sure, the soldiers would wear him out sometimes (whining & complaining) but over all he handled things well. We even had a Sergeant on loan from the Ranger Bat for a while. I’m not sure if he’s still around but he was great with PT. If you were marginal on PT and needed a boost before classing up he was your guy. Oh he sounded rough and tough but some of that had to do with both being a Ranger and having a few personal problems at the time. I could see thru the tough guy stuff pretty easily. I would take a Sergeant like him in my platoon any day. We had a few Sergeants from other areas of HHC who helped out here and there. One was a hunter in his free time. I promised myself that if I ever got stationed at Ft. Campbell I would have him up for a visit. Great hunting up there, so I’m told. The XO’s or other Lieutenants who came thru were also good. They were usually snow birding between schools or recovering from injuries they had received after having been commissioned. One of my buddies from 4th platoon came thru as I was heading home. It was good to see him for a bit.

With the exception of Sergeant sh!t head the HHC staff doesn’t sound too bad, eh? Again I won’t get into this too much but its not the staff that makes HHC a bad place to be. It’s not the soldiers coming in although some of them are indeed a pain at times. It’s the soldiers going out as well as the nature of the lack of meaningful work added in with the waiting, waiting, waiting on top of the staff’s over reaction to dumb things the soldiers do that can make HHC a purgatory. Its a combination of things.

I met a lot of good soldiers there. They took me in and took care of me even though they didn’t know me from Adam. There are many of them I wouldn’t mind serving with again. There are a few that I really do hope I get to see again on this side of the curtain because they were just great people. I wish them much luck in their careers as officers. Sadly, I never got to see my OCS classmates again or spend more than the time of a passing “hello” with them after joining HHC. I didn’t even get to attend their graduation.

I was specifically ordered to stay away from them while in HHC. I was specifically ordered away from my former classmates graduation.

It really stunk. I’m sure there are good reasons for this but I, naturally, thought that due to my obvious age and maturity those reasons shouldn’t apply to me. After all, aren’t I special? Hah. I was only special in that I had more metal in me than my Sergeant’s Harley Davidson. The Army can’t afford to show favoritism to anyone. Remember there is no room for grace and mercy.

While at HHC I was able to pass on some advice to those who found themselves stuck waiting for a class to start up. It goes like this, “Don’t give these guys 110% to your own hurt. Don’t get hurt here and blow your chance at a commission. Ignore the negative soldiers who are on their way out. They are nothing. This place is nothing. It never appears on any grade sheet. It exists for you. Use it to up your APFT. Use it to learn and prepare for the real class. Gain any and every advantage you think you can squeeze out of it so that when you get to the real OCS you will be better prepared to succeed.”

Partly I had to give this advice because of the physical demands while in HHC. Some of the soldiers were getting hurt. It almost seemed to me that someone had taken it upon himself to whittle down the number of overbooked Candidates by physically breaking them then sending them back to some Unit.

Partly I had to give this advice because I knew from personal experience that if you want a commission then the only thing that matters is what you do in your company class. HHC doesn’t appear on your record.

Partly I had to give this advice because some of the soldiers were being treated poorly by someone who was a lesser man than they. A fellow can only take that for so long before it wears him down. I didn’t want them to be worn down before class started.

This is the sad side of the Army. It has no grace for those who are broken. Individuals who got to know me had respect for me as well as the few other guys like me. I even had the opportunity to get to know my old Cadre Platoon Sergeant when we ended up on a detail together while I was in HHC. Turns out we had a lot in common. But some did not want to get to know me. They only saw me as a throw away solider.

There are those individuals in the Army who will never see a broken soldier as anything more than a broke dick. Useless. Less than useless. And they make sure you know it. They seem to have the attitude that this is still a conscription Army and they have the right — no, the duty — to purge the Army of any weakness no matter if an injury was obtained validly or not. They will even attempt to create the weakness just to make sure it’s not hiding inside of you, and then say, “I always knew you were no good.”

Sure, there are substandard soldiers who are cry babies and need their butts kicked. There are soldiers who just don’t have much heart and need to be pushed into higher levels of performance. There are also soldiers who are outright lazy and need their butts kicked all day everyday in order to get anything out of them at all. BUT there are also soldiers who are legitimately broken, who want to get well, and want to serve. Some of them will work hard even if they don’t get well. They don’t deserve to be tortured by some one in authority who is a sadistic jerk. This does the Army no good.

One Captain told me he doesn’t like it either but that it’s not easy to figure out who among the broke soldiers can be salvaged. I said, “Bull”. The truth is it’s a failure of leadership when you don’t know who your hard workers are and are not. If you’re going to lead your men you better darn well know them like their father.

It’s also a failure of leadership to put up with sadistic jerks under you in your chain of command or even near your chain of command. They are not building our fighting force. They are a cancer eating it up from the inside. Get rid of them like the cancer they are.

Too often in my short service time I have seen senior NCO’s stand by and watch a junior do something cruel and stupid to his soldiers. I have never figured out why these guys never seem to police each other up.

Bah.

If I keep writing out that thought I will again be guilty of friendly fire. So I will stop.

I will end that rabbit trail by reassuring you, dear readers, that the good NCOs and the good Officers far out weigh the bad. Else our Army would have imploded by now under the strain of warfare. It is just that while our Army is the greatest army in history I know we can be better still. It wouldn’t take much. So why not do it?

Well. Where do we go from here.

It took over a month for me to get out of the Army once I had made the decision to leave. My classmates graduated before I could process out. I had more than one medical practitioner tell me that most men (of any age) do not truly recover enough to come back to the Army. I’ve been told that those few who manage to stay in are in dead end jobs because they just can’t perform at high enough physical standards. So where does that leave me?

I loved what I did. There were good times and bad. I have to admit that there is something thrilling about being able to command one hundred and forty men across a battle lane as easy as moving a pen across a desk. Watching the men click off orders with the precision of a machine is a treat. More than once I was complimented on my command voice. I received accolades that made others wonder. After all. I don’t look the part. If you saw me you would agree. It astounded some military guys that I did well at all. I was introduced to one Colonel who, after sizing me up, asked, “So, can you wrestle your weight in gummy bears?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him that while my nickname in BCT had been Father Time my nickname in OCS was The Colonel. He wouldn’t get it. I had another Sergeant who, after being told of my accomplishments, met me and said out loud, “HIM?” “Heh, yes Sergeant. Him.” Kids in the civilian world think I’m just a weak old man. That was actually said within ear shot of me just recently. They don’t know that I can choke them unconscious with their own arm in less than ten seconds.

Of course the arrogant side of me loved every compliment I received on my command voice and/or leadership. Who wouldn’t?

Now what. IF I can get this leg working correctly in less than a year do I go back in active duty, back to start OCS all over again, and shoot for the commission? What if I go for a slot in the reserves? I’m told there are a few Direct Commission slots available in the reserves for high needs units (apart from JAG, Chaplin, or Medical Direct Commissions). Could I get one of those? Or should I just move on to some other new adventure?

I honestly don’t want to go back to what I was doing before I joined the military. It was a good job with good people but I’ve grown beyond it now. It holds less than zero allure.

Stay tuned. This might not be over yet.

Here‘s a parting thought. Speaking strictly in the earthly sense: If you want a Christian nation then you must have Christian leaders. To have Christian leaders you must raise your sons to be those leaders. Given the state of our political system … it may be too late to get real Christians elected into offices across the country. A mass conversion of the populace is really what is needed there. What about the Military? I’ve seen Christian leaders rise to the top like cream. Our sons can very easily move into those positions if they are physically and mentally fit. Additionally, consider this, IF one or more of our civilian leadership ever ordered the Army to do something illegal to our own people — don’t you want an Officer in place who will stand up and say, “NO”?

Don’t trust your safety to heathens and kids. You go assure your own safety.

Join the United States Army.

Good bye and God bless,
Sincerely,

Mr.Hooah!

Tags: Army, military //