April 28, 2008
Posted by Claire
When Lesser Men Talk
It’s in the midnight hours that mother’s of deployed soldiers do some of their best worrying and praying. I used to think it was due to the fact that the distractions of the day were calming and suddenly our minds and hands were left with nothing to do. That was a good theory when he first went to Iraq. For me personally, the anxiousness existed because I knew that as my day was ending his was beginning. It was a funny assumption on my behalf. I knew he pulled shifts all hours of the day and night. I got a call from him the day I first wrote on this topic. It was the first one in a long time, he sounded tired, but considering it was after 1am there I am surprised he was still awake. I’m a mom. I can’t help it.
I was wide awake and writing this because I was angry. I was angry at some hateful anti-military writing I came across on the Internet. I usually roll my eyes, stop reading and go on with my day. This caused a stirring in me that time. It’s different because of the magnitude of the inflammatory rhetoric it possessed.
The stir of raw emotion, ultimately, was a flash in the pan. The typed words I came across were baseless, senseless, tasteless, and gutless. They were typed out for one reason, and one reason alone — to attract attention and make some big splash. There is a huge difference when someone uses hyperbole as a tool to excite interest or drive home a point, but it’s another when someone uses a constant, heightened offensive tone to bring attention to himself.
Ultimately I found comfort in reminding myself that it is not men like that who shape our world. The men who shape our world do not do it by provocatively stomping on the grave of men better than themselves. Instead men who shape this world respect those who defend them. Not only is it true that … “A Nation which forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten,” but I would say the same is true for the individual who thinks that a tantrum will bring him any notoriety and that using the graves of the fallen will accomplish that end for him.
When small men talk, big emotions are incited right away. They die out fast and stay cold, however. They may cause a rise in us by inflicting a flesh wound on a dearly held belief or value, but it’s like a flash burn — it hurts quickly, but the burn and wound are gone with no visible marks left behind. It’s like being bumped into and knocked down by a stranger. In the very moment it happens, it’s relevant and it may hurt. However, just moments later we are back up, dusted off and moving forward – soon that memory may even totally leave us without someone else to prompt it to the front of the mind.
This is much different from the stirring we feel when big men talk.
When big men talk we often feel a stirring in our hearts and minds. It’s often something that resonates within us as familiar and something with which we already agree, but we are still convicted — maybe just convicted to give more, do more, love more, or work harder. Big men stir the emotions, but it’s a deeper stirring that grows with time. There is sometimes a wound that’s even created, but it’s a wound that is given as that of a faithful friend. It’s a relevant wound whose pain stays, but instead of causing a gaping and seeping wound, it heals well — maybe leaving a scar just big enough to remind us of the wound and to help us be grateful for not having it any longer.
When my husband and son took their oaths to serve this Country as soldiers they spoke with voices that were loud, clear, decided and bold. Those words, that sound, that demeanor is what has stayed with me over the past 13-months and more. When I heard my husband lead a platoon of young soldiers in saying the Soldier’s Creed he was resolved, dedicated, and he was void of any fickle double-mindedness. That’s the man I hear. Hurtful words and hatefulness come and go like the wind or the trash that is blown about by its gusts. Strong, resolute, truthful, dedicated and bold words — words with substance and conviction, are what stay the storms and the tempest.
When the next flash in the pan hits I am vowing to stop and listen. I am not going to listen deeply to the small man who is seeking attention, but rather I will listen to the big men who are set to protect and defend us. I will listen to those who are my bread and butter of freedom. See, when they speak it matters. When they talk it’s not for attention. When they weep it’s not for drama. When they die it’s not in vain.
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9 Comments
April 29, 2008
The most vocal imbeciles out there are one who never have and never will take an oath to defend this country.
And I say their opinions are not valid, as they cannot justify them.
As far as I know, I’ve never been released from my oath to defend the country, taken in June of l968. Although I’m honorably discharged, I never took an anti-oath or signed any paper renouncing my original oath, and, therefore, I am still bound by it.
Works for me. I’ll stick by it until my demise.
Chin up, mom — only those of us and the family’s know how hard it is.
“Illigitimi Non Carborundum” –Don’t let the bustards get you down.
All the best,
Al
April 29, 2008
Claire, that is exactly what I do. I listen. To the voices of my ancestors, to the voice of my father, my uncles, my sister, my niece, my husband and my son. It is those voices that carry weight with me. It is those voices that have the full knowledge whereof they speak. They deserve my attention, not that small man or the many like him.
April 29, 2008
Well said, Claire! Well said.
April 30, 2008
Al,
If your oath and commission are anything like that of the Army then not only is your oath never revoked but your commission is perpetual. Meaning, they can call you back anytime buddy. Remember that “honorable discharge” and “separated” does not mean “removed” thus you are not “local” to the military but you are “always” a part of the family. I’m sure that suits you just fine. It’s an honor to have you, Sir!
:smile
April 30, 2008
I’m linking to this. Beautiful.
May 1, 2008
Men want to look each other in the eye. Men like your husband and son do this by lifting up those around them , by standing tall and inspiring the same posture in others, and by upholding those too weak to stand on their own. Small men like that blogger lack the strength required to do thje same, and so instead of doing the best they can and relying on the strength of their brethren, they attempt to bring everyone else to their eye level by tearing them down. Good for you for not letting them do that to you.
I never took the oath the other men commenting here did. God did not bless me with a body fit to serve in that capacity. My regret for that is surpassed only by my gratitude to those who could and did and can and do. I’m sorry I can’t stand with you, but at least I can stand behind you.
May 1, 2008
Mr Hooah, thanks for the encouragement.
What you say is true — during Gulf War 1, I inquired as to sea duty with MSTS, and found out I was too, ahem, too elderly.
Age is not a factor,however. Should my Uncle Sugar knock on my door when I’m 80, I’ll be there to do whatever I can.
I assure you that I’m not the only one. When the chips are down, you can count on any veteran and their kin to do whatever is necessary for the good of the country.
Hooah!
February 18, 2009
Well said in a timely fashion for me.I have been around big men and I try and pull from each and I have been around lesser men and I can not even remember their names!!! Big men try and make people around them better ,like you said in a great way.Lesser men never build anything,only tear down. You get energy from just being around Big Men.Lesser men are just so draining.Big men help folks stay focused on priorities.Lesser mean are tossed to and frow. Big men can see the big picture.Lesser men are to focused on self that they can not even see the picture. I have gone on enough. Bulldog Out!!!
February 18, 2009
I just realized that this is a previous post.I think I remember it when it was first posted.Just as good now as it was back then.I’m not as sharp as I once was and another thing I’m not as sharp as I once was!!! Bulldog Out!!!
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