May 28, 2008
Posted by Claire
Oh, the big green, ugly Army socks!
I love you. You know I do. Everyone who reads this blog knows how much I love you. I am devoted, faithful, and always have your best interest at heart with whatever I do. You know this, right? Well, it’s time, honey. It’s time to put away the big ugly green Army socks now. I can handle the closet that looks like a foot locker. I can handle the enduring and endearing flat top. Reflective Army PT shorts? I’m smiling here, but the socks have to go. You stay. Socks go. Deal?
Love, C*************
For those of you who don’t understand because you have never seen the big, green ugly Army socks, let me explain. These are not just socks. Oh no. They are Army issue socks, which means if the world comes to an end in a Nuclear disaster there will only be cockroaches, tootsie-rolls and big green ugly Army socks left.
They are a cotton/wool blend (I believe) mostly wool. There may even be some steel wool in that mix too. They are long. They are so flippin’ long that soldiers can use them as makeshift sleeping bags with a tug or two. A laundry load of big green ugly Army socks weighs 312 pounds exactly after the first spin cycle. They are so thick that the boots wear out before the socks ever do. As a matter of fact I am sure that they would do fine as a substitute for snow boots in the dead of winter.
I don’t dis the military. I have had very few complaints so far on this journey of being a military wife and mom. The socks though — I understand the practical need for such sturdy and ugly socks, but as a suggestion to the military, please confiscate them when someone exits military service. They should be treated like sensitive gear. No man should be allowed to take his big green ugly Army socks home with him.
I’m just saying…
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12 Comments
May 29, 2008
LOL!!
Gotta tell ya, your lament brings back fond memories of my Mom …. for as long as I can remember she complained about Dad’s black wool Air Force socks!!
Don’t recall that Dad had an opinion one way or the other until after Vietnam …. when he came home with “jungle feet” …. NASTY, REALLY NASTY !!
After thirty years he retired with hearing loss (jets are noisy),compressed spine (pretty common among pilots who’ve abandoned their aircraft while still airborne), and feet from which we avert our eyes. Seriously. Bleh. Ick. Phooey!!
~P~
May 29, 2008
Dear Mrs.C,
No-go on the socks. The socks must stay. Love me? Love my socks! That’s the deal. :B)
Besides, I still need to wear the boots to keep my leg/knee from twisting so easily and the socks go with the boots. Nothing else feels right when wearing combat boots! Dress socks slide too much and white socks fall down too much. There’s nothing worse than a boot full of bunched up sock. Blah. :ha
But honey, I promise, when I’m all healed up I will only wear the socks with the full uniform. Honest. :ch
May 30, 2008
well…I guess there’s no booting this sock out, Claire…! :smile
May 30, 2008
I retired in 2002 and I still wear the black version of the Army’s boot sock. I worn them to work yesterday. However my wife and daughter have banned me from wearing them while wearing shorts.
May 30, 2008
Ain’t that the truth! I think this PCS move we will clear out all BDU’s and “accessories” !
Gotta love the Army!
May 30, 2008
Oh, Pattie, I have heard about the “jungle rot” and I bet it is horrible to live with when it’s healing too. I guess it’s a form of necrosis where the skin and tissues are just rotting away. The other day we were watching a Vietnam war movie and I told Mr. H! that those conditions had to be absolutely horrific to live in, yet less fight in!
Mr. H!, everything is negotiable, dear. Everything… even the socks! Oh, and Piper and you ARE long lost twins. Every time I read a Piper joke or a Piper pun I think “Yep, they are long lost twins separated at birth!”
Chuch, Your wife and daughter are good women. Listen to them! :ch It’s the shorts that I have a problem with myself! lol I don’t mind them in pants… you can’t even see the things, but shorts… OY!!
ARW, I think you have just nailed the solution down for me! Yep, PCS… where every wife can start fresh in a new home, new town, and where every soldier has to find new socks! :ch
May 30, 2008
LOL @ this whole socks situation!!!!
May 30, 2008
May 31, 2008
They make right fine rags for changing oil and wiping windshields.
Don’t send these old warriors to a premature demise. Recycle the rascals. They’ve paid their dues.
)
“An army travels on it’s stomach. You travel on your feet. That’s a fifty percent waste” — Groucho Marx
October 9, 2008
I must come to the defense of ugly green Army socks. When I was a little girl and got sick, it was Chicken and Stars Soup, Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Green Olives with Pimentoes in them which you could suck out and then stick on your fingers so it looked like you had Monster Fingers….and Ugly Green Army Socks. My father told me his Big Ugly Green Army Socks would make me well, and would put them on my little girl feet, snuggle me up under a nice warm blanket, turn on the Vaporizer, put Vicks on my chest….and lo and behold, I would get well. Dad’s been gone 26 years now……last week I was SO sick with some sort of Respiratory Ick….and I had no Big Ugly Green Army Socks. I’m not sure if it was love or bravery or what that seeped into the fibers of my Dad’s socks, but I know they worked. I know they’re ugly….but keep a pair in case a little girl gets sick. Or a big girl who misses her Daddy…..
Thank you for all your sacrifices, kind,
brave, fighting men….we love you!
SgtMajor Robert Hartwick’s daughter
(82nd Airborne, Korean Conflict)
July 2, 2009
is that the real weight of that socks? that sock was so useful and protective. Where can i buy some socks like that? anyway nice sharing this blog.
August 2, 2009
HAHAHA! I will agree that the socks are terrible!! I tried a pair of my husbands on once, and they come past my knee! I can wear them as stockings!!!
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