June 27, 2008
Posted by Claire
The story of two battlefields
A private battle made public
Veteran hopes account of war, PTSD struggle helps other troops
By Sean D. Naylor – Staff writer
Posted : Wednesday Jun 25, 2008 12:18:11 EDT(excerpt)
After surviving one of the most vicious firefights in the war in Afghanistan, Capt. Nate Self knew he had to write about it.
Self led a Ranger platoon in a daylong battle on Takur Ghar mountain that claimed the lives of seven U.S. servicemen on March 4, 2002.
Self said that “as soon as we came off the mountain,” he felt there was a message he had to spread. “There was kind of a personal side of the story and what the Rangers had experienced leading up to it that needed to be told,” he said in an interview with Army Times.
What he could not have guessed was that by the time he finished writing his story, it would have expanded to encompass the tale of another tough battle — his own with post-traumatic stress disorder, which continues to plague him.
Now 32, Self, who left the Army in 2004, gives his account of both battles in “Two Wars,” a book published this month by Tyndale House Publishers Inc.
…
Self gives some really good, practical insights into what helped him most. He talks about what helped him collect his thoughts and start some cathartic and therapeutic discussions about his PTSD. Self says…
“My guess is, from an anecdotal perspective, that if a veteran is struggling, if he actually goes through the writing process, that it will help,” he said.
But he acknowledges that for many veterans, writing about their trauma will seem counterintuitive at first.
“It’s hard to begin the writing process, because you resent the fact that you’re writing about these things, and part of the symptoms of PTSD is to avoid the experiences, and so if you’re going to sit down and brainstorm and meditate on these things and try to write about them, that’s not avoiding the experiences at all, that’s diving into them,” he said. “I felt that resistance even in myself.”
Self, whose PTSD caused him to gain so much weight he could no longer fit into his old uniforms, credits several factors with helping him come to terms with and start to overcome his stress disorder:
• The help he received from the Department of Veterans Affairs hospitals. “The VA was great for me. As soon as I admitted that I had a problem, and agreed to go see someone, I got right in to the VA, got a diagnosis and got treatment right away … The education I received about PTSD, about the symptoms, about coping with those symptoms, was fantastic.”
• His religious faith. “When I really struggled the most was when I turned away from a life of faith, and so the church played a huge role in me getting better … I found answers in the Bible that gave me a lot of comfort and hope, knowing that warriors throughout all time, even according to the Bible, had mental anguish … that they really needed help with.”
• Maj. Randy Kirby, who had been Self’s chaplain in the 75th Ranger Regiment and is still serving. “When I got out and I got to the lowest point that I could ever have been at, my family called him and he really turned into the spiritual medic on the battlefield for me and my family over the phone — daily, sometimes hours at a time … He helped get me through the roughest times, and he was still in the Army.”
• Talking about how to cope with PTSD to veterans groups and soldiers who are yet to deploy. “Turning my experiences into a means to help other people has made a big difference for me, too.”
Self, who now works in leadership development and support for the Praevius Group, a defense contractor, hasn’t fully recovered from his PTSD. He continues to dream of combat every night.
4 Comments
June 27, 2008
There’s a little PTSD in every veteran, and more than a little in many.
The movie “Jaws” bothers me. The sailor’s natural enemy is the shark. I can’t watch the movie, even though it is a very good one. I knew a lot of old salts like Robert Shaw back in my day.
Having seen and smelled and observed the effects of napalm, I can never again see “Apocolypse Now”. But that’s no great loss.
If you were to sneak up on me while I slept, and go “GONG GONG GONG –FIRE FIRE FIRE — AWAY THE FLYING SQUAD”., I’d be on my feet looking for my shoes in a second, smelling smoke.
A sailor’s worst nightmare is fire at sea, and carriers in the Tonkin Gulf had overheated fan motors and false alarms daily. But you never knew if it was the real deal, or a false alarm, so you ran to your fire station when the alarm went off.
If you were to jam a rolled up newspaper into a floor fan and yell “INCOMING”, (as some fool did in the USO in Da Nang one night)
I’d hit the deck and be looking for a shootin’ iron.
And never never never sneak up from behind and explode a paper bag near me. You might have to look for a bag of ice and a steak for your eye.
Certain noises, smells (like jet fuel or exhaust) trigger certain emotions that cannot be stifled.
Bad dreams? Yup. Everyone who’s been to boot camp has them, and worse. They’ll never go away.
PTSD? Very possible, or just ingrained reactions to life threatening situations.
I don’t know — I can only speak for myself.
We have to deal with the memories forever and try and cope the best we can.
Today’s returning warriors, though, at least have help available for the asking.
June 28, 2008
Al, I do think that we (as a Culture) over pathologize everything. For a people who tout that there is no “normal” we sure like to define what “normal” behavior is for people who have fought in battle. In my eye, normal is a heightened sense of militant awareness. I know that there are those who have, without a doubt, PTSD — full blown, but it’s the guys who come home and need to work through their stress who really fall between the cracks. They are often labeled and then given meds. I say give them some time to readjust and then we will see what is really there that needs to be dealt with.
June 30, 2008
Claire-
I have to respectfully disagree with you. More study on psychological pathology needs to be done. Much has been written on the effects war has on many returning veterans, but not enough. What little there is, is biased towards sending soldiers who don’t fit the pigeon holes back into the field. The mind can be a pillar of strength, or it can be easily broken.
The only people who come close to being like combat soldiers are the firefighters and law enforcement personnel who see atrocities on a frequent basis. Their states of minds are a constant concern and have procedures in place to deal with problems as they arise.
The military does too, but it’s rarely used by active duty personnel, because of the inherent stigma attached. You’d have to be VERY GOOD at discretion to avoid being overlooked for promotions or nice assignments to pad your record, because you saw a military psychologist.
Some of the returning vets choose to stay in the military. A psych visit can be a stain or an asset in your military record, depending on the view of your superiors. For those people, they stick it out, to the success or detriment to their careers and mental health.
IMO, I think the stigma should be removed for voluntarily seeking psychological counseling and preserving mental health should be lauded.
July 1, 2008
I don’t disagree that they need to seek support and treatment, I guess one of my big issues is the overuse of medications and blanket diagnosis.
I have a master’s in social work and a background in mental health. When I left that particular field it was commonplace to see a client on so many psychotropic drugs that there was no way for anyone to discern what were the environmental issues and what was organically going on. I really worry that when we see a blanket diagnosis we also see a blanket treatment – and that tends to be medications that really need to be individualized, but they are not
When my son got back to base they immediately wanted to screen him for PTSD. I really had a problem with that only because he was still in the process of reintegrating. I am all for diagnosing and treating PTSD and any other mental health issue that affects soldiers — 110%, but I am not a proponent of blanket diagnoses and blanket remedies. It really can cause a lot of harm in the long run (I can cite all of the long term negatve effects from Ritalin and the ADHD boom of the 90′s as one example.)
So, diagnose them when needed? Yes. Treat them according to evidence based approaches? Yes. Assign the diagnosis when a soldier is showing a normal human response to stress and has not had time to adjust himself mentally after months of living under intense stress? I take issue with that if the soldier is not in any obvious serious distress (for some it is obvious and they definitely warrant immediate treatment).
I know it’s hard to come up with a system that catches the ones who needs it without bringing people into the scope of treatment who really are not in need of meds. When dealing with a system as huge as the military it is really hard to individualize anything — including medical and mental health care.
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