Knee Deep in the Hooah!

I hate to bump my wife’s beautiful post about a survivor … but I just saw this and had to get it up quick:

The Army’s Totally Serious Mind-Control Project
By Mark Thompson / Washington Sunday, Sep. 14, 2008
Soldiers barking orders at each other is so 20th Century. That’s why the U.S. Army has just awarded a $4 million contract to begin developing “thought helmets” that would harness silent brain waves for secure communication among troops. Ultimately, the Army hopes the project will “lead to direct mental control of military systems by thought alone.”

Uhm. Where do I begin? I almost wish I were a marine so I could start off with the crass ‘reason 101 why Marines kick @$$ and the Army eats grass’ schtick.

I think I can figure out about a million other things that ought to be done with such money. Leave sci-fi gear to the Air Force. Sure, 4mil is a drop in the Army research budget but these days every drop counts. Air Force can afford to suck up the drop. Army can’t. Course I guess we could fund this by licensing the Big Red One or some other significant icon. <snort>

You know something else comes to mind. (heh) I already know what many of the privates in my old platoon were thinking. I wasn’t pretty. Why do I want to record ‘em electronically?

Oh, and just so you know, gamers are ecstatic about this potential development. The Command Sergeants Major? Not so much. They’d rather have water, MRE’s and bullets. Oh, and maybe a little more pay in the ‘ol paycheck. Yeah. Thad’ be great. But what do THEY know.

The article ends with this little gem:

And don’t overlook potential civilian benefits. “How often have you been annoyed by people screaming into their cell phones?” Schmeisser asks. “What if instead of their Bluetooth earpiece it was a Bluetoothheadpiece and their mouth is shut and there’s blessed silence all around you?” Sounds like one of those rare slices of the U.S. military budget even pacifists might support.

Uh. Uhm. NO. I don’t think so. Somebody in the room doesn’t understand pacifism. Furthermore, if the private sector wants such technology then let the private sector develope it. Army can then buy it off the shelf later. We get our best innovations that way.

It goes like this: Private sector innovates, SF guys buy it then adapt and augment, private snuffy gets jealous and buys one with his own money, CSM gets ticked at lack of uniformity and orders private snuffy to stop using kewl gear, CO sees dive in effectiveness traced to lack of breifly used kewl gear and orders supply to get “official Army” kewl gear for private snuffy, Army News reports new and improved troop effectiveness, everybody’s happy but the CSM who continues to complain about how spoiled the new recruits have become because ,”back in my day real soldiers carried rocks! And we were proud to do so!” End of Army innovation.

Mr.Hooah!, out.